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Episode   Gallery   Transcript    
For the cast list, click here.

(unfinished)

In medias res

(Player is uploading files in Admin. Wizard is beside him.)

WIZARD

Hurry up! We need to finish our tasks before the Impostor shows up!

PLAYER

I'm trying, Wizard. But Captain wasn't lying when he said the ship's Wi-Fi was being really slow today.

(Player and Wizard notices Arnold stomping.)

PLAYER

Uh...what was that?

WIZARD

Oh my god! Run!

(Arnold smashes through one of the walls in Cafeteria. Player and Wizard scream and run away to Storage.)

PLAYER

(panting while speaking) Did we lose him?

WIZARD

I think so...

(Arnold comes out from a box.)

PLAYER AND WIZARD

AHHH!

PLAYER

(notices that Wizard stopped running, feeling worried) Wizard, what are you doing? Run!

WIZARD

No, Player. Go on without me! I'll protect you!

WIZARD

You...shall...not...pass!

(Wizard smashes his staff to the ground and Arnold falls through it after stepping on it without realizing the cracks.)

Arnold's debut

Earlier that day...

PLAYER

Ah, it's good to be back. And now that I've won a game, I've probably earned the respect of my peers! I bet they can't want to see me again. I'm like a rockstar!

(Player finds Veteran and Captain and waves his hand at them.)

PLAYER

Hey guys!

VETERAN

Oh, hey stranger. Are you new here?

PLAYER

What? Veteran, it's me.

VETERAN

How do you know my name, fellow crewmate? We've clearly never met before.

CAPTAIN

Veteran, don't be silly. This is that person who used to be our friend and play Among Us with us a long, long time ago!

PLAYER

Alright. Ha-ha. Very funny.

VETERAN

Oh, that's right. What was his name again? Something with a 'P'? Person, partner...

CAPTAIN

Playman!

VETERAN

Ah yes, Playman. How's it going, Playman? It's been eons since we've seen you.

PLAYER

Okay guys, chill. I spent some time playing some other games, it's not the end of the world.

CAPTAIN

You hear that, Veteran? Losing friends isn't all that important to Playman.

VETERAN

Then he won't mind if we walk away right in the middle of our conversa-

PLAYER

Veteran? Captain? Come on!

(Wizard approaches Player.)

WIZARD

They're just gonna need some time is all, Player.

PLAYER

Oh? Uh, hey Wizard.

WIZARD

I think they really got their feelings hurt when you went solo for a while.

PLAYER

I guess that makes sense.

(Player finds Mr. Cheese, TheGentleman, Gnome and Mother then he puts his hand up to make them notice him but Mr. Cheese, TheGentleman, Gnome and Mother turn away.)

PLAYER

Wow. Does everybody hate me now?

WIZARD

Pretty much, but they'll come around. I don't hate you.

PLAYER

I wouldn't have pegged you to be the loyal one of the group, Wizard?

WIZARD

Wizards don't hold grudges. Plus, I've been shunned from the group as well.

PLAYER

Why?

WIZARD

...because I made Arnold Impostornater.

PLAYER

Huh?

(Wizard whistles, then Arnold smashed through the wall.)

MR. CHEESE, THEGENTLEMAN, GNOME, AND MOTHER:

(inaudible babbling)

WIZARD

See? They hate him.

PLAYER

I still don't understand. You...made this monster?

WIZARD

I was trying to practice my spells, but you know how it goes: you mix up your pocuses with your patronuses and you end up with a giant muscle man.

PLAYER

Is he friendly?

WIZARD

Mostly. But he only speaks in movie quotes.

ARNOLD

Get to the chopper!

PLAYER

Oh boy.

(The game then started.)

CAPTAIN

Everyone, scatter! But not for fun. It's because we're publicly shaming Playman. Let us wean him from the herd like a sick gazelle of the Serengeti.

VETERAN

Seriously dude, what is your deal with animals lately?

PLAYER

Welp. Better do my tasks, I suppose.

PLAYER

So, I'm supposed to clean the vent? That's a new one.

God, what has been going on down here? Gross! Impostors are disgusting.

CAPTAIN

Hey! Who called the meeting? I was almost finished uploading data in Admin! Do you know how long that task takes? Seconds!

THEGENTLEMAN

Everyone, vote out this...this monstrosity right now!

MOTHER

Do you mean Arnold Impostornater?

THEGENTLEMAN

Yes. He murdered my precious cheesy boy!

VETERAN

Works for me. That horrible banana color is dangerously close to my majestic mustard yellow. I don't trust it. Plus, I was like always the biggest smallest guy here before he showed up.

GNOME

Yeah, but he's all muscle and you're just a huge ball of fat.

VETERAN

Mass is mass, dude.

WIZARD

Hey, you guys are clearly teaming up on Arnie. Is there any proof of him killing Mr. Cheese?

THEGENTLEMAN

Arnold Impostornater flattened my poor Mr. Cheese into a cheddar pancake! I saw it with my own visor. Playman can confirm.

CAPTAIN

Playman, what say you?

PLAYER

You know what? If you wanted me to vote with you guys, you better start using my actual name. Plus, Gentleman, you were in the same room as well. It could've easily been you.

THEGENTLEMAN

How dare you.

CAPTAIN

You know what? It is more likely that it was TheGentleman. You guys have such a complicated relationship. An old Arnold is a nuisance; but he's a fairly gentle giant, much like the peaceful blue whale.

VETERAN

Captain, we get it. You've seen planet Earth.

STONER

Ocean creatures are actually from Blue Planet. Learn your nature documentaries bro.

MOTHER

Can we just vote out TheGentleman and get on with it?

THEGENTLEMAN

Wait, no!

ARNOLD

Hasta la vista, baby.

CAPTAIN

Come on. Upload, you stupid computer!

PLAYER

Having some trouble, Captain?

aCAPTAIN

I'm just annoyed how slow this is going. You'd think space would have faster Wi-Fi!

Finally! I'm off, like the frightened zebra fleeing from the-

PLAYER

Okay, just get outta here.

WIZARD

Hello Player. How's it going?

PLAYER

Honestly Wizard, I'm not sure we made the right call back there at the meeting. I know he's your friend but it probably was Arny who flattened Mr. Cheese. TheGentleman doesn't have the upper body strength to pull off something like that.

WIZARD

Yeah, he's not yoked.

PLAYER

Definitely not.

WIZARD

Then why'd you side with me?

PLAYER

I guess everybody else was making me so mad that I didn't want to be on their side. We're gonna lose if we let Arnold Impostornater off the hook, though.

WIZARD

What do you suggest?

PLAYER

You go see if you can track down his location. I'm gonna watch the Admin module and see if anything fishy happens.

WIZARD

Man, look at you. Winning one game and already acting like a total Among Us pro! I love it.

PLAYER

A bunch of people in the west side.

PLAYER

Oh my god, it's a killing spree! Arnold Impostornater is killing everyone!

ARNOLD

Rubber baby buggy bumpers. Ha!

PLAYER

Wait. If you're here, then-

GNOME

(crying) Veteran's dead! Veteran's dead! It must be Arnold Impostornater. I knew that thing was trouble!

CAPTAIN

Arny, what do you have to say for yourself?

ARNOLD

If it bleeds, we can kill it.

WIZARD

No. That's just an unfortunate side effect of him only being able to speak in movie quotes. He's innocent!

GNOME

Lies!

PLAYER

No, really. He was with me in Admin when all the killings were happening on the west side.

CAPTAIN

This is quite the conundrum.

WIZARD

Maybe we should skip. Our tasks are almost done. If we vote out someone now and are wrong, we'd lose. But if we skip, we might be able to finish now before the impostors eliminate us all.

PLAYER

That seems risky.

CAPTAIN

...but it's a risk I'm willing to take. Let's skip, everyone!

GNOME

Skipping!

WIZARD

Skipped.

PLAYER

Fine, I'll skip as well.

ARNOLD

Come with me if you want to live.

WIZARD

That means he skipped too.

WIZARD

Hurry up! We need to finish our tasks before the Impostor shows up!

PLAYER

I'm trying, Wizard. But Captain wasn't lying when he said the ship's Wi-Fi was being really slow today.

(Player and Wizard notices Arnold stomping.)

PLAYER

Uh...what was that?

WIZARD

Oh my god! Run!

(Arnold smashes through one of the walls in Cafeteria. Player and Wizard scream and run away to Storage.)

PLAYER

(panting while speaking) Did we lose him?

WIZARD

I think so...

(Arnold comes out from a box.)

PLAYER AND WIZARD

AHHH!

PLAYER

(notices that Wizard stopped running, feeling worried) Wizard, what are you doing? Run!

WIZARD

No, Player. Go on without me! I'll protect you!

WIZARD

You...shall...not...pass!

(Wizard smashes his staff to the ground and Arnold falls through it after stepping on it without realizing the cracks.)

PLAYER

No!

PLAYER

The Impostornater. You're right. He's evil!

GNOME

I told you guys!

CAPTAIN

We really biffed it on that one.

PLAYER

Wait! You guys are doing tasks?

GNOME

Yeah, so?

PLAYER

So, neither of you are the impostors?

CAPTAIN

Nuh-uh.

PLAYER

Then, why isn't the game over?

WIZARD

Cause we are.

(Arnold and Wizard smash through the wall.)

PLAYER

Wait...

(The scene transitions to the scene where Arnold killed Mr. Cheese.)

(The scene then transitions to the scenes where Wizard killed Veteran, Mother and Stoner.)

PLAYER

It was you!

WIZARD

You're doing right. It was, Player. Arny?

ARNOLD

Who's your daddy, and what does he do?

WIZARD

Really? That's the line you went with? Kindergarten Cop.

(Arnold flattens Player with both of his arms.)

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