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OVERVIEW of Certain ISSUES

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(In MIRA HQ, Balcony. Veteran, Player, and Captain stand ahead of the bridge to the ship entrance.)

PLAYER

Oh my god. It's finally happening! The Airship is here!

VETERAN

I know, right? It's been months since it was first announced. I almost completely forgot about it.

CAPTAIN

Yeah. Finally, it's now my chance to shine! I can't wait to give this old girl a spin. I bet she has some stories to tell.

PLAYER

Okay...

CAPTAIN

But before we set sail on our maiden voyage, we need to christen her.

MR. CHEESE

(muffled, in the background) Yeah. Looks like Mr. Cheese is way ahead of you, guys.

(Mr. Cheese and TheGentleman enter.)

THEGENTLEMAN

Ah! Good evening, finesters!

PLAYER

Wow! TheGentleman, you look- uh- different.

THEGENTLEMAN

Why, yes. Thank you for noticing.

MR. CHEESE

TheGentleman and I both know it's time to upgrade his wardrobe.

CAPTAIN

Right. Upgrade.

THEGENTLEMAN

What are you implying?

VETERAN

We're implying that you look terrible, bro. Like, what the heck happened? You get into a fistfight with your stylist or something? Everything you're wearing right now is straight up busted.

(TheGentleman runs inside the Airship, bawling.)

MR. CHEESE

TheGentleman, c-come back! Come on, they didn't mean it. (he turns to the three) Thanks a lot, Veteran. He's been so self-conscious about his new look. Now he's never gonna hold me out over the rails to the viewing deck, while I whisper, "I'm flying".

VETERAN

Hey, fashion ain't friendly. I gotta keep it 100, yo.

MR. CHEESE

How's this for "keeping it 100"? (he points a hand to Veteran) Your crown is stupid and ugly.

VETERAN

Haters gonna hate.

PLAYER

Alright, well, maybe we should all get on there before the ship takes off without us.

CAPTAIN

I'm not going anywhere until this thing is christened. Mr. Cheese, you have something for that?

MR. CHEESE

Sure do. Here you go. (he tosses a blue plastic bottle at Captain)

CAPTAIN

(discontent) This is a bottle of blue sports drink.

MR. CHEESE

That's all they had in the vending machine, okay?!

CAPTAIN

Then I guess this will have to do. I dub the...the Airship!

(Captain throws the bottle at one of the propellers. The bottle falls to the sky.)

PLAYER

Yeah, this is gonna go great.

(The match starts. Player and TheGentleman are the Impostors. Player has to choose a spawnpoint: Engine Room, Brig, or Records.)

PLAYER

Huh? I get to choose where I spawn? That's so cool!

(Player chooses the Records to spawn. TheGentleman is also there.)

THEGENTLEMAN

Hello, Mr. Player!

PLAYER

Nice! You chose Records too!

THEGENTLEMAN

Indeed. Now listen here, old chap. Think of this Airship as a new beginning for yourself. A chance for a fresh start. Imagine yourself as the winner we all know you are very capable but not at all likely of becoming. See, I intend to get revenge on Veteran for mocking my new ensemble, and I don't need your constant, losery ways interfering with my masterwork. You will not be my undoing, Mr. Player.

PLAYER

(confident) Sure thing. I'm locked in. I'm gonna kill every last Crewmate on this ship!

(Player and TheGentleman arrive on a doorway.)

THEGENTLEMAN

Good to hear it! Now, follow me. Now go ahead and swipe your ID card.

(Player swipes the card, but fails.)

PLAYER

Hmm. (he fails again, and swipes aggressively)

THEGENTLEMAN

You have to do it at the right speed.

PLAYER

It's harder than it looks, TheGentleman!

THEGENTLEMAN

I find that hard to believe. Move aside.

(TheGentleman tries the task. The door successfully opens.)

PLAYER

Oh, come on!

(They are in the pool room of Lounge. Rose watches BDay perform a break shot. All the object balls fell to the pockets.)

ROSE

Wow! Nice shot Big B, that was incredible!

BDAY

It's all in the hips!

ROSE

That's my man. (she holds hands with BDay) I love you, bookums.

BDAY

I love you too!

PLAYER

Aww!

(TheGentleman shoots B-Day with his left laser eye.)

THEGENTLEMAN

Bullseye!

(Rose cries on BDay's disintegrated remains.)

ROSE

(in a quavering voice) NOOOOOO! Babe- BAAAAABE! (holds the dust in her hands) I really miss Birthday!

PLAYER

Really? You have to do it then? They were having a moment?

THEGENTLEMAN

Will you just hurry up and kill Rose, before she has the common sense to report the body?

PLAYER

Fine...

(Player stabs Rose with the knife.)

PLAYER

Ugh, that one didn't even feel good.

(Rose's body is reported.)

CAPTAIN

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Two people are dead already? Can the captain take his airship out for five minutes, before all the passengers start murdering each other?

MR. CHEESE

Yeah, I was having fun going up and down the ladders!

VETERAN

And I was having fun decorating the mannequins.

WIZARD

Well I was busy developing photos. (he shows the photos) Look! They're selfies.

MR. CHEESE

Oh yeah, who the heck is this guy?

WIZARD

Um, my name is Wizard. I'm new here and I-

PLAYER

Kill the outsider! (Veteran, Captain, Mr. Cheese, and TheGentleman repeat after him)

WIZARD

NOOOOOOOO!

(Wizard was not An Impostor.)

(Player spawns in Kitchen.)

MR. CHEESE

(in the background) No, PoopyFarts! I'm telling you, it needs more cheese.

POOPYFARTS96

(he refuses)

MR. CHEESE

I don't care what kind stew you're making. You gotta bring the cheddar baby. It's what the people want!

POOPYFARTS96

(irritated)

MR. CHEESE

Wow, so you win one season of Among Us Top Chef, and so with your Bobby freaking Flay?

POOPYFARTS96

(he stresses that he is better)

MR. CHEESE

Bobby Flay wishes he was as good as you? Whoa. Keep dreaming it, pal.

PLAYER

You guys okay over here?

MR. CHEESE

Oh hey, Player. Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that my 'assistant' chef here won't listen to reason.

POOPYFARTS96

(he bursts in anger)

MR. CHEESE

(he snatches PoopyFarts96's hairnet away) Oh, you're quitting huh? Why do we need you? This is one last case of cellmate on the kitchen! (he addresses himself) Player here could take over your spot and he doesn't even care how much I yell at him or humiliate him. He's a worthless peon that'll do what I say, when I say it. (he turns to Player) Alright, you ready to start your first shift?

(Player stabs Mr. Cheese with the knife.)

MR. CHEESE

AAAAAHHHH! Ouchie!

(Veteran calls an emergency meeting.)

THEGENTLEMAN

Good heavens, another two bodies were discovered.

CAPTAIN

Wowzers! these impostors are good.

VETERAN

Good, but not perfect.

PLAYER

What do you mean?

VETERAN

I saw TheGentleman kill Mother in the gap room.

THEGENTLEMAN

What? That's an outrageous accusation!

VETERAN

Is it because I climbed up that huge ladder right as you and Mother entered the room. You both got on that floating platform thing to bridge the gap, but only one of you made it to the other side.

THEGENTLEMAN

You don't know what you're talking about.

VETERAN

Oh, I think I do, TheGentleman. I watched you push poor Mother off to her death. It was pretty clever I'll give you that, leaving no body for a crewmate to stumble onto and report.

THEGENTLEMAN

Shut up!

VETERAN

Ah. But I can't, TheGentleman. You see, you forgot to account for one thing: that a hip-on-fleek alpha dog like me, would never lose to a strangely mustache, two top-hat wearing, purple cyborg freak like you. (he glares at TheGentleman) Your outfit is hideous.

THEGENTLEMAN

(he points his knife at Veteran) That's it! Let me -- at him!

THEGENTLEMAN

(Captain and PoopyFarts96 get ahold of him) What, no! You'll pay for this, Veteraaaaaaaan!

(TheGentleman was An Impostor.)

(Player spawns in Cargo Bay, on a raised platform before Ventilation.)

CAPTAIN

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Keep your distance, Player. You could be the impostor.

PLAYER

Well you stay back for me. You could be the impostor.

CAPTAIN

What? I'm no impostor! See, I'll prove it to you. Stay right where you are.

(Captain comes nearer to him.)

CAPTAIN

See, I'm safe. iIm right next to you. If I was an impostor, I would have killed you. Do you believe me now?

PLAYER

I sure do, Captain.

(Player shoots Captain with a gun.)

PLAYER

Awesome! (he has actually killed in front of the cameras) Now that I've killed Captain, I'm only one murder away from victory!

POOPYFARTS96

(he is satisfied of what he had just witnessed)

(With a button, PoopyFarts96 calls an emergency meeting.)

POOPYFARTS96

(he is impatient to tell everything)

VETERAN

Calm down, PoopyFarts. What did you see?

POOPYFARTS96

(he starts to tell Veteran most likely about what Player have done to Captain)

VETERAN

Okay. Uh-huh.

POOPYFARTS96

(he might have further elaborated his statement)

VETERAN

Uh-huh. Yeah, I got it.

PLAYER

What is he saying?

VETERAN

Oh. I have no idea. I was just pretending so he feels included in the conversation.

PLAYER

Come on Veteran, let's vote him out. I didn't get a chance to mention this last time, but PoopyFarts was working with Mr. Cheese before in the kitchen. Things seemed get pretty heated. I think he killed him back there while TheGentleman was taking care of Mother.

VETERAN

You know what? I saw PoopyFarts and Mr. Cheese together earlier in the Armory too. I think you might be right, Player.

POOPYFARTS96

(he stresses that he can prove his accusation)

PLAYER

Give it a rest, PoopyFarts. You're going down.

VETERAN

Yeah. Hearing a straight up confession, I think this case is officially closed.

(PoopyFarts96 plays the recording.)

THE RECORDING

(A gunshot and Captain's cry is heard) Awesome! Now that I've killed Captain, I'm only one murder away from victory.

(Veteran glaresat Player.)

PLAYER

Uh, it isn't what it sounds like?

(Player was An Impostor.)

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