She didnt- She didn't install...the cardio mod...
Come back here, non-believer!
Hit her him! The Divine One will shall not be denied!
Ah! Gah! Ooh!
Oh hey there, Veteran! My name Mr-
No time for that!
Whoa!
What the-
Cheese loui-
End of the line, Veteran! You will make a fine offering for the God King!
God King? Is that some sort of dumb, nerd thing?
Blasphemy, blasphemy!
Ooh, ooh! Can I shoot him now, honey? I wanna make the Divine One proud to me.
Tell you what Rose, it can be your early birthday present.
Done being snickems.
Rose, just kill me now.
It's the idea!
Halt!
My lord.
Player, thank the Goddess. Rose and BDay have got insane and- wait- something's different about you. Did you shave your mustache?
What? No.
There's only one god here, Veteran. Me.
Ahahahah! Ooh!
What's this feeling? Ooh, a divine blessing from the Divine One?
Uhm, no. It feels more like death.
Oh.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I no longer require your services. HAHAHAHAH!
Nice job, Player. Those guys were about to kill me in the name of some...Divine One.
Do you seriously not get wha's going on in here, Veteran?
Not in the slightest.
No matter, you will soon enough.
So, could you like, tell me? Maybe with a recap or-
Ugh, fine.
Fireball! Fireball!
Fee, fi, fo, fum!
Time to
Haha! Bark bark, I'm a cat! Hahaha, bark, bark, haha!
Hey, buddy. Man, gotta catch my breath. This game sure is awesome today, huh?
Awesome? It's a total mess! With all these mods installed you can't tell who the imposter is!
Yeah, that's the whole point of Among Us, dude.
That's not what I mean?
Hey, man. I know you're feeling down cause you're bad at the game, and even with all these OP mods-
So OP.
Thanks, Captain.
Even with all the so OP mods, you can't win.
Veteran, it's not that I'm a sore loser. It's that this doesn't even feel like Among Us at this point.
How do you figure?
So long, Stoner!
Whoaaaa- AAAAAH!
Ugh, nevermind.
Player, when I'm feeling like I suck—which is nothing cause I'm pretty awesome—I ask the old-knowing Goddess for advice.
How is that gonna help me?
Fine. Don't listen to me then. All I know is that I win all the time and you literally have never won. Anyways, I'll be seeing ya.
Wait, what?!
Automatic ejection mode, Player. No vote required.
What?! That's so OP!
So OP!
NOOO!
That's it! I'm done with Among Us, for real this time. I know I told Veteran that I'm wasn't a sore loser. But seriously?! All this time, I haven't won a single game?! That's gotta be statistically impossible!
Nothing...is...impossible.
Player: Huh? Who's there?
God of Among Us: I am the God of Among Us.
Player: The god of Among Us is a giant sloth? I guess that makes sense.
God of Among Us: I have been watching you, Player. I am here to help you.
Player: Help me? How are you gonna do that?
God of Among Us: Use that power for...
Player: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Player: Listen, thanks again. I've got a game to get back to.
Captain: Fireball! Fireball!
Player: Time to get to work.
Captain: Hey, Player! I didn't know that you were in this lobby. Nice shiny hat. Say, does that mean that you've finally embraced mods?
Player: It sure does, Captain. Here, let me show you how mine works. Hiya!
Captain: Ahh!
Dum and Stoner: Huh?
Player: Let's see what else an impostor can do!
Dum and Stoner: EEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Stoner: Wait, what?
Dum: Ugh, not again!
Dum and Stoner: EEEEEEEEEEHHH!
Player: Wow! As the God Imposter, I can pretty much do anything I want! Including...
BDay: Don't move, honey. He can't see us if we don't move.
Rose: You watch too many movies, dear!
BDay: W-what are you gonna do to us?
Player: Well, I think it's time you gotta fashion upgrade!
BDay: My balloon!
BDay: My...lord.
Rose: How we may serve you, Divine One?
Player: Yes! Thanks to my god powers, I have two mind-controlled minions! Oh, I'm so close to winning, I can almost taste it! Okay, I killed Captain, Dum, and Stoner. That just leaves Mr. Cheese and Veteran. Just gotta play this right. You two!
BDay and Rose: Yes, my lord?
Player: Take these, and ensure my victory!
Rose: You will never lose again!
BDay: Long live Player!
Player: Yes, yes...
Rose: There he is!
Veteran: She didnt- She didn't install...the cardio mod...
BDay: Come back here, non-believer!
Rose: Hit her him! The Divine One will shall not be denied!
Veteran: What the-
Player: And that's how I was sent by God [of Among Us] who made me won my first game. Understand now, Veteran?
Veteran: Wow, Player. That was really something.
Player: Wait, what do you mean?
Veteran: I especially liked that part with the giant sloth god. Wasn't expecting that. Anyways, nice job buddy. It's about time you won a game.
Player: Really? This is happening?
Veteran: Yeah. I knew I had it in you all along. Go on, turn me into gold or whatever and let's celebrate.
Player: Well, okay. Here it goes. Thanks pal.
Player: Huh?
Veteran: Can you not do it when someone's watching or something? I can turn around if you want.
Player: That's not it. Something's wrong!
Veteran: Huh, that's awkward.
Player: What is it?
Veteran: I just noticed that I had a kill button this whole time. What did that sloth god say your mod was again?
Player: Well...
God of Among Us: Use that power for...
Player: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Player: Listen, thanks again. I've got a game to get back to.
God of Among Us: ...good crewmate.
Player: I was going to use the power to get the crewmates an easy win. And instead, I killed them all.
Veteran: Yup, seems that way.
Player: I'm never gonna win, am I?
Veteran: Nope.
