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(In The Skeld, MedBay.)
BLUE
Oh, what are you working on in here?
NOT-ORANGE
It's a revive machine. You lay down on this table, slap on this helmet, and bam! Start the program.
BLUE
Cool! Mind if I see it in action?
NOT-ORANGE
Well, I would have to be dead in order for it to work.
BLUE
Okay, fair enough.
(Blue impales Not-Orange with the tongue.)
BLUE
Ha! Sucker. Just one more kill and I win.
(Blue leaves MedBay. Not-Orange gets to the revive machine helmet. Blue reaches Upper Engine.)
MOTHER
Gotta do my tasks like a crewmate should! You gotta hand it to him. Captain knows how to write good hooks!
(Blue sneaks behind Mother. Mother sees him.)
MOTHER
Oh hello, Blue!
BLUE
Hey, Mother, don't call me Blue. My new name...is Monster!
(Blue, now Monster, impales Mother with the tongue.)
MONSTER (BLUE)
Yuck! It's so gross when their bone sticks out like that. Hey, hey! Victory!
(Nothing happens for a few seconds.)
MONSTER
Wait, why didn't I win just now?
(Not-Orange calls an Emergency Meeting.)
NOT-ORANGE
It was Monster! I saw him murder Mother!
MONSTER
Woah, what? How are you still alive right now?
NOT-ORANGE
What do you mean?
MONSTER
I...I killed you just a minute ago!
NOT-ORANGE
Uh, clearly you didn't, but the fact that you think you did proves you're the impostor.
MONSTER
Wait a minute. Your machine. It worked!
(Player joins the lobby. Mother has no mini crewmates. Veteran is green; Mr. Cheese is yellow.)
MR. CHEESE
You stole my color, you dirty color thief! I hope I’m the impostor so I get to murder you as painfully as possible!
NOT-ORANGE
I didn't steal anyone's color. Orange was open when I got here.
MOTHER
Well, you definitely stole the whole having-kids thing for me! It's the entire basis of my character. Without my mini crewmates, you might as well just call me Bone or something!
NOT-ORANGE
"Bone"?
BONE (MOTHER)
I don't know, it was the first thing that popped into my head.
MR. CHEESE
Listen, I’m gonna level with you here, guy. I'm the most popular player in this entire series, so I should get preferential treatment! It's what the fans want!
BONE
And I demand that I be the only one to have children!
NOT-ORANGE
Oh my god, can you stop calling them "children"? Technically, they're pets, and should be treated as such.
(Not Orange sees his mini crewmate approaching him. He sprays them with a cleaning spray.)
NOT-ORANGE
No, bad mini crewmate!
BONE
(furious) That...wouldn't be okay, even if they were pets!
PLAYER
Alright everybody, what's going on here?
VETERAN
What's going on here is that, this guy is ruining all of our lives.
PLAYER
Oh, was it because you were forced to wear green?
VETERAN
No, no, no, no, no...I mean...at first I didn't like it because I’m a creature of habit as you know, but now I’m kinda into it. Like: should I change my look entirely? Is this working for me?
PLAYER
Veteran, get to the point.
VETERAN
Oh, right, this guy has a super confusing name.
(Player looks at Not-Orange and his name.)
PLAYER
'Not-Orange'? Ha! That's funny.
NOT-ORANGE
Thanks, guy.
VETERAN
It's not funny, it's insane! His name is Not Orange, but he is orange? Surely this was some kind of mistake.
NOT-ORANGE
(disappointed) That's...that's the joke, man.
MR. CHEESE
Well, I ain't laughing, pal.
BONE
...Neither am I.
VETERAN
...And neither am thri!
MONSTER
Guys, guys, guys, let's all just remain calm here. I brought my buddy along today because he's a really good Among Us player and I thought you all could use the practice.
(A drawing depicts a stinky Mr. Cheese playing tic-tac-toe on the ground with a stick, Mother looking at a fly, and Veteran looking at the viewer with his visor broken.)
VETERAN
What do you mean? We're basically all top-tier grade-A crewmates/impostors.
MONSTER
Right.
NOT-ORANGE
Hey, how 'bout this? If anyone beats me, then I’ll change my name, color, pet, whatever you want!
MR. CHEESE
Oh, you got yourself a deal, buddy!
NOT-ORANGE
Wait, wait, wait... but let me finish. If I win, I get to choose what you wear whenever I’m in the lobby.
MR. CHEESE
Hmm. One moment, please?
(Mr. Cheese, Mother, and Veteran huddle up.)
BONE
Well, do we accept his terms?
VETERAN
I don't know, do you really think we could win it?
MR. CHEESE
Absolutely. They look like a bunch of idiots!
BONE
Alright, team, let's get 'em.
(The three perform a team hand stack.)
VETERAN
On three. One, two, three...
MR. CHEESE, MOTHER, VETERAN
My name, Mr. Cheese!
(Player facepalms.)
(The match starts. There are two Impostors among ten Crewmates. Player and Veteran walk to Admin. Everyone else is in the spot of the Swipe Card task.)
PLAYER
Wow. I’ve never seen everyone run into one spot before.
VETERAN
Yeah, well, everybody's gotta do this task. So you might as well do it while you're around a bunch of other people so it's safe.
(Everyone in the stack does the task at the same time. An impostor kills Bone.)
(Bone's body is reported.)
CAPTAIN
Alright. Somebody must've seen who did it! We were all right there!
THEGENTLEMAN
I'm sorry, Captain, I was distracted trying to swipe the blasted card!
MR. CHEESE
Yo, I saved these.
VETERAN
Well then, maybe it's Not Orange.
PLAYER
Why don't you think it's orange?
VETERAN
No. I'm saying I think it is orange.
THEGENTLEMAN
But you just said, 'Well then, maybe it's Not Orange'.
MR. CHEESE
Veteran, make up your mind. Is it orange, or not?
VETERAN
(he grunts) This is exactly why Not Orange needs to lose, so we can change his name!
MONSTER
(to Not-Orange) Hey, check this out. (to everyone) Okay, okay. Hey, Captain. An impostor says 'what?'.
CAPTAIN
What?
NOT-ORANGE
(he snortles) Looks like we got a confession, everybody!
(Monster and Not-Orange laugh.)
THEGENTLEMAN
Can we please be serious, people? There's killers on the loose! And they're going to murder us all if we don't vote them out!
NOT-ORANGE
(he stops laughing) Ok, you know what? You're right.
MONSTER
(he stops as well) Yeah, we suggest voting out Veteran.
VETERAN
Me? Why?
NOT-ORANGE
You were one of only two people outside the stack.
MONSTER
Seems pretty sus.
VETERAN
But I didn't do it! Player, you gotta believe me.
PLAYER
Obviously I believe you, Veteran. I was standing right next to you.
CAPTAIN
All those in favor of casting Veteran into the harsh, unforgiving nothingness of the cosmos, say aye!
CAPTAIN, MR. CHEESE, NOT-ORANGE, THEGENTLEMAN, MONSTER
Aye!
MR. CHEESE
...am Mr. Cheese!
Veteran was not the Impostor. [sic]
(Player walks to Weapons. Monster watches Not-Orange do the Clear Asteroids task.)
PLAYER
Hey. Why did you guys get Veteran voted out?
MONSTER
We really thought it was him, dude.
NOT-ORANGE
Yeah, that's uh...that's our bad.
PLAYER
Well, thanks to you, now the impostors only need 3 more kills to win!
NOT-ORANGE
Hey, can we have this conversation later? I'm kinda busy at the moment.
MONSTER
Yeah, and why are you so sure we aren't the impostors?
PLAYER
(annoyed) I'm literally watching you do a task right now, so you have to be crewmates.
MONSTER
Pretty smart, kid.
PLAYER
Don't call me kid.
(Not-Orange finishes his task.)
NOT-ORANGE
All right, looks like I'm all wrapped up here. And you seem pretty chill so, we're gonna let you in on a little secret.
PLAYER
Huh?
MONSTER
Okay. Operation Frankenstein is complete.
(The eyes slightly open and close. Player, Not-Orange, and Blue are watching them.)