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Episode   Gallery   Transcript    
For the cast list, click here.

[The match starts in the Cheater's Lobby. There are 10 Impostors among 100 Crewmates. Several players behind him walk around the room.]

PLAYER

What the? This can't be right!

[Player calls an Emergency Meeting.]

PLAYER

Okay, can anyone tell me what's going on here?

PROGAMER

Well, uh, you see...

[Everyone else talks simultaneously.]

PLAYER

Oh my god! My ears, my ears! Argh, make it stop!

[Player is ejected.]

PLAYER

Oh, thank god.


[Player returns to the Cheater's Lobby.]

PLAYER

It's not fair. I finally won a match. And just because I cheated a tiny little bit, I'm stuck in this cheater's lobby forever?

[SirClogsworth plays the harmonica while sitting on a box.]

PLAYER

I don't get it, SirClogsworth. How can you be okay with being trapped in this place? It's dirty, dark, dank, drab...

[SirClogsworth gets off, throwing the harmonica away.]

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Don't forget, derelict, dangerous, duplicatous and discordant...?

PLAYER

Deformed, deranged, deviant...

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Daya, dawa, dodgy, dubious, dusty, dismal, dreary!

PLAYER

Yeah! And um, uh, it sucks!

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Indeed it does, Mr. Player! But you've made your bed, now you must lie in it.

PLAYER

(sighs) Fine. It's just sad that I'll never get to see any of my old friends again, like Veteran, PoopyFarts, Mother...

MR. CHEESE

(in the background) ...and Mr. Cheese!

PLAYER

Mr. Cheese? You're here too?

MR. CHEESE

Yes, freaking bullcrap. I cheated like four episodes ago when I created TheGentlebot.

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Greetings and salutations to you, fellow cheater! I am SirClogsworth.

MR. CHEESE

Why hello, SirClogsworth. My name, Mr. Cheese.

PLAYER

I can't believe I'm saying this but, I'm so glad you're around, Mr. Cheese. Maybe this lobby won't be so bad after all.

MR. CHEESE

Huh, I'll say. This is a magical place with no rules, Player. Just watch this. Look how high I can jump! Hiya!

PLAYER

([with contempt) Yeah. Very cool, Mr. Cheese.

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Oh, yes! Allow me to introduce you all, starting with...

[Angel lands from above with her wings.]

PLAYER

...Angel?

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Oh, you know her! She's been here for quite some time. Apparently, she violated the kill cooldown counter!

MR. CHEESE

OMG, that explains minute 5:27 of the first episode!

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Next, we have the New England Patriots!

[One of the players stab a football with a knife. It deflates and falls to the ground.]

PLAYER

Why are the New England Patriots here?

MR. CHEESE

Are you kidding me? These guys are the biggest cheaters of all!

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Last but certainly least, we have the most amazing, incredible, be-e-autiful player this game has ever seen! It's Ms. Pink!

MS. PINK

Hiya, Clogsworth. Who are your friends?

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Hello, Ms. Pink! This orange fellow is Mr. Cheese, (to Player) and this gentleman is...

PLAYER

(attracted) Hi, uh...My name's, uh, Player...uh-huh...

MR. CHEESE

(joking) Way to stay smooth, ding dong.

PLAYER

Maybe when we get in there, we could work together. O-or s-something...n-never mind...it's stupid. So dumb.

MS. PINK

(giggles) I like you. See you in there, tiger.

[Ms. Pink leaves. Player stammers.]

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Wow. It's hard to believe someone like her could be a dirty, rotten cheater, like the rest of us!

MR. CHEESE

Yeah, she just doesn't do for me. Personally, I prefer the subtle round bean shape?

PLAYER

(to himself) She called me tiger. Rawr.

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Well, we better start the next match!

MR. CHEESE

Wait. It's not going to be another 100 person game again, right? That was horrible!

SIRCLOGSWORTH

No, no, no. This next one will be much...smaller.


[The match starts. Player and Angel are the Impostors.]

PLAYER

Alright, this is my chance. Time to- (looks up) Wait a minute...why is everything so big?!

ANGEL

(chuckles) Everything's not big, Player. We're just weenie, eenie, beenie!

PLAYER

B-but why?

ANGEL

Haven't you played with the tiny impostor mod on before?

PLAYER

No? This is crazy!

[There is a loud stomping. A giant Mr. Cheese walks near them.]

MR. CHEESE

(in a slow, booming voice) My name, Mr. Cheese!

PLAYER

Okay, this is the stuff of nightmares. How are we even supposed to kill people like this?

ANGEL

Don't worry, I've got this!

[Angel pulls out a pair of long blades. Steel cables shoot from the hilt.]

ANGEL

Hup, hiya!

[She slices Mr. Cheese. Mr. Cheese's upper half slowly detaches.]

MR. CHEESE

Huh? Owchie!

[Angel lands on her feet.]

PLAYER

Wow! Angel, that was incredible!

ANGEL

You see, Player, it isn't that hard. In fact, being tiny can be lots of fun!

PLAYER

Yeah, I guess you're right. Okay, we can do this!

ANGEL

You bet we can. Now come on! We've got a game to win, and players to-

[Ms. Pink stomps on Angel.]

PLAYER

Angel!

[Ms. Pink lifts her foot. Angel's body is now a bubblegum-like mass sticking on Ms. Pink's foot.]

PLAYER

Whoa! Ms. Pink?

MS. PINK

Hey, little guy. Enjoying the game?

PLAYER

(frustrated) I- I don't understand! How did you kill Angel? She was an impostor!

MS. PINK

Isn't it obvious? I cheated!

PLAYER

Oh, right.

MS. PINK

And it looks like (points at him) you're next, stud.

[Ms. Pink drops her foot at Player.]

PLAYER

Wait, no! AAAAAH!


[Mr. Cheese's body is reported.]

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Ms. Pink, I found Mr. Cheese's body in the cafeteria!

MS. PINK

Yes, I know. I was able to kill Angel, the impostor responsible for his death. And now, we just have to vote out Player.

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Why do you think it's Player?

MS. PINK

Because we have the tiny impostor mod on, and he is very, very small.

PLAYER

(climbing to the table) You know what? Fine! I am an impostor. But if this is a cheater's lobby where anyone can do whatever they want, then why does it even matter? Ms. Pink has killed more players than I have. I don't even care about winning anymore. I just wanna go back to my friends.

SIRCLOGSWORTH

Well, there's only one way out of the cheater's lobby, kid; and no one's willing to do it.

PLAYER

I'll do it! I'll do anything! What is it?

SIRCLOGSWORTH

You just have to renounce your victory to Innersloth, admitting that you never really won--because you cheated, and cheating is bad!

PLAYER

You mean, I just have to say something like...

PLAYER

I'm sorry, Innersloth, grandmasters of Among Us. I really, really wanted to win, so I cheated. I never should have convinced my friends that it was a good idea. I've learned my lesson. I know that victory doesn't count, I renounce it all. Cheating is wrong and is never worth it. And when I finally do win one for real, it'll be because I deserved it, not because I used some cheap mod.

[Player disappears. He returns to the real lobby.]

PLAYER

(dissatisfied) Wow, I can't believe that actually worked.

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