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Prologue match[]
[In MIRA HQ, Reactor.]
THEGENTLEMAN
Mr. Cheese? Mr. Cheese! Hmph. Probably distracted by the shiny lights of the reactor again.
[The Decontamination door to the side of Locker Room opens. Mr. Cheese lies down on the wall beside it.]
MR. CHEESE
(coughs) Ouchie.
THEGENTLEMAN
(gasps) Mr. Cheese! Beanie boy, beanie boy, what have they done to my little beanie boy?
MR. CHEESE
(coughing again) Gentleman! Come, closer.
THEGENTLEMAN
Of course.
MR. CHEESE
Closer!
THEGENTLEMAN
Alright?
MR. CHEESE
Closer...
THEGENTLEMAN
I-I don't think I can.
[Their faces touch together.]
MR. CHEESE
Oh.
THEGENTLEMAN
Tell me, is there nothing I might do to ease your passing, my friend?
MR. CHEESE
Hm, afraid not, for you see...
[Scene appearance changes to a comic-esque effect.]
MR. CHEESE
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
THEGENTLEMAN
Nani?!
[Mr. Cheese takes out a long blade and impales TheGentleman with it. He cuts TheGentleman in half. The defeat scene appears. He spins the blade around to enclose it in a hidden case in his back.]
[Mr. Cheese enters the lobby.]
THEGENTLEMAN
Mr. Cheese, that was positively dastardly. You played me like the proverbial fiddle!
VETERAN
I would say played you more like operation, you know, with him cutting you in half and all.
MR. CHEESE
Yeah. You know Veteran, I think you might be playing that game wrong.
VETERAN
Huh, that's what my babysitter used to say too. Used to.
[Player enters the lobby.]
PLAYER
Guys, guys, you're not gonna believe this! I finally convinced my girlfriend to play Among Us!
THEGENTLEMAN
Oh, my poor, poor Mr. Player--allowing yourself to be fooled by these far-fetched delusions, such as winning even a single game, and getting an Among Us GF. I’m afraid dear boy, that you're setting yourself up for failure on both accounts.
PLAYER
But it's true! Veteran met her, we even played Fall Guys together, back when that was a thing.
VETERAN
Wait, you mean you're still seeing that chick? It’s been like five months since you last played with her, it's over, dude.
PLAYER
Come on, haven't you ever heard the phrase 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'? We’ll be closer than ever, and we have so much to catch up on.
MR. CHEESE
(jokingly) Daww, that's nice, Player. Say, you gonna tell her about how you fell in love with Ms. Pink in the cheaters lobby?
[Someone enters the lobby.]
PLAYER
(surprised) I- uh well, oh, she's almost here! Be cool guys, please.
VETERAN
Hey, you don't have to tell me to be cool, check my drip bro.
[Veteran shows off his GameToons drip shoes. Noob approaches Player. They rub their cheeks together, holding hands.]
NOOB
Player! Hi, you snookums!
PLAYER
Hey, pookie bear!
[Both call each other endearments.]
VETERAN, MR. CHEESE, THEGENTLEMAN
Barf!
NOOB
Oh, gosh. Didn't realize we had company. Who might you all be?
PLAYER
Well, that's TheGentleman.
THEGENTLEMAN
Charmed.
PLAYER
Mr. Cheese.
MR. CHEESE
My name Mr. Cheese!
PLAYER
And you already know Veteran.
[Veteran mumbles.]
NOOB
No way, Veteran! I almost didn't recognize you. Last time we played, I was the one with the crown!
VETERAN
Huh. Beginner's luck.
MR. CHEESE
So, are you gonna give yourself a gamer tag or, you just play as 'Girlfriend'?
NOOB
Oh, right! I'll just use my actual name.
[Noob changes herself to brown with a cowboy hat, then lime with a toilet paper hat. She changes herself back to the former.]
NOOB
It's-
VETERAN
Time out, lady dude. You might be the queen bean in Fall Guys, but in here, you're brand spanking new--meaning, your name is Noob.
PLAYER
Veteran!
[Noob changes herself from brown with a cowboy hat, then cyan with a witch hat.]
NOOB
No, no. That's fair, I'll be Noob. Maybe that way, you boys will go easy on little me..? [giggles]
[Noob changes to wear a party hat.]
NOOB
There. How do I look? Cute, right?
PLAYER
You look-
VETERAN
(continuing what Player had said) pretty much like Mother with a party hat on.
[Player glares at him.]
VETERAN
Now come on. I don't care if it's only seven of us in this match. We'll play with just one impostor. Now, it's go time!
[The match starts. There is one Impostor among seven Crewmates. In Launchpad. Noob and Player spawn. BDay and Rose, TheGentleman and Mr. Cheese walk past them in pairs.]
BDAY
Come on, Rose!
ROSE
Go team, go.
NOOB
Wow. So this is Among Us! Maybe I can win my very first match!
PLAYER
Yeah! If we stick together like the other couples, we'll both get out first win.
NOOB
(stupefied) Wait. You've been playing this for five months, and you haven't won a single game?
PLAYER
Well uh, I only got close once or twice. But I have a really good feeling about this round!
NOOB
Oh sure you do! Say, I'm gonna do some tasks, and I think we'll do better if we split up. See ya, sweetums!
[Noob rushes to the Southeast hallway.]
PLAYER
Are you sure you don't need any help?
NOOB
Um, goodbye!
VETERAN
(in the background) Tsk, tsk, tsk.
[In Office. Veteran is doing something on a computer.]
PLAYER
Veteran? What are you doing?
VETERAN
What does it look like? I'm trying to figure out how to get Solitaire on this thing. It's clearly not useful for anything else. The question is, what are you doing?
PLAYER
Um, playing Among Us with my girlfriend?
VETERAN
Uh-huh. Sounds like she might be the one playing you.
PLAYER
How do you figure?
VETERAN
Come on. You mean to tell me that it's her first game, and she immediately knows how to do her tasks? In my first game, I just ran around like a super attractive guy and got shanked.
[Veteran goes to the panel to divert power.]
PLAYER
Did you ever consider that she's just better than you at this game?
VETERAN
Argh! I did not, because that's impossible.
[Veteran is still trying to do the task.]
VETERAN
Come on, you stupid thing! (grunting)
PLAYER
You know you have to divert the power from the reactor to Communications first, right?
VETERAN
Pssht. Uh, yeah. Duh. Could you uh, excuse me for a second?
[Veteran leaves Office and goes to the Southeast hallway.]
VETERAN
Remember, watch out for your girl, dude. She's evil! Probably.
PLAYER
(sighs) He's hopeless.
THEGENTLEMAN
(in the background) I'm going to get you, Mr. Cheese.
[Slapping is heard. Mr. Cheese cries.]
PLAYER
Oh my god. TheGentleman's is gonna murder Mr. Cheese!
[Player enters Locker Room. TheGentleman playfully chases Mr. Cheese in circles.]
MR. CHEESE
(laughing) You can't catch me, Gentleman! Stop it!
THEGENTLEMAN
(also laughing) Come back here!
MR. CHEESE
Y-y-y-you can't...you tryna catch me? Ha-ha! You can't catch Mr. Cheese! He's too fast, baby.
PLAYER
Huh? What's going on here?
[TheGentleman stops running.]
THEGENTLEMAN
Oh! (clears his throat) Um, Mr. Player, we-
[Mr. Cheese slaps him with a towel.]
THEGENTLEMAN
Yee-ouch! Time out, Mr. Cheese!
MR. CHEESE
Oh, sorry.
[TheGentleman wipes the slap mark off his face.]
THEGENTLEMAN
Mhm, yes. Well, Mr. Cheese and I were just enjoying a nice schvitz in the decontamination room. I thought it might be fun to-
PLAYER
You know what? Spare me the details. (sighs) It seems like everyone is working together with their partner except me. Maybe my relationship is a total bust.
THEGENTLEMAN
Oh Mr. Player, you don't have to prove anything to us. We're sure you and your sweetheart are very close. Isn't that right, Mr. Cheese?
MR. CHEESE
Yeah. No way? You two are on a one-way road to Splitsville, baby.
[Someone vents.]
THEGENTLEMAN
Someone's cut the power. Mr. Cheese, grab a candle.
MR. CHEESE
M-my namee, Mr. Chee-
[Someone kills Mr. Cheese. They vent out.]
THEGENTLEMAN
Mr. Cheese?
[The lights turn on. Mr. Cheese lays dead, with the neck wrapped in a towel.]
THEGENTLEMAN
No! (takes out a stick) Wait, you're not playing dead again, are you?
[TheGentleman touches Mr. Cheese's body with the stick. Mr. Cheese is still unconscious.]
THEGENTLEMAN
NOOOO!
PLAYER
Oh my god! You killed him!
THEGENTLEMAN
Balderdash! Mr. Cheese and I have been alone in here since the game started. Surely I would have killed him sooner.
PLAYER
But...but...
THEGENTLEMAN
Mr. Player, no offense. But need I remind you that this exact same situation has played out before? It's obvious what happened here.
PLAYER
Yeah. Of course. You're right. It had to be someone else.
THEGENTLEMAN
Mhm. I think we both know who she is.
[Mr. Cheese's body is reported.]
THEGENTLEMAN
Oh my heavens. There are so many people dead!
PLAYER
And I'm pretty sure know who it is.
VETERAN
Well, it wasn't me. I went to the reactor, my bob, to divert the power majig to communism like you told me to, Player.
PLAYER
I- what?
NOOB
Hey, hey everyone, settle down! Now what exactly did you see, boo-boo?
PLAYER
I was in the locker room with Mr. Cheese and TheGentleman. The lights went out, and a few second later, Mr. Cheese was lying there dead!
VETERAN
Ha. Didn't see that one coming. Literally, I mean, cause the lights went off?
NOOB
I believe you, honey! I'll vote for TheGentleman in solidarity.
VETERAN
Ha, yeah. Nice try, murderer.
NOOB
Uh, what are you talking about?
PLAYER
Come on, babe. We all know it's you.
NOOB
What? I didn't do it!
THEGENTLEMAN
How dare you kill my sweet cheesy prince. You will pay for your sorcery, she-devil!
PLAYER
Dude, too far.
THEGENTLEMAN
Sorry.
NOOB
Player, I'm a crewmate. I swear! I-if you vote me out right now, our relationship is over!
[Everyone else turns to Noob and carries her.]
NOOB
Hey! What...what are you doing? Get your hands off of me!
[They reach Balcony.]
NOOB
Player, Player, put me down!
[Noob is thrown off the balcony.]
NOOB
Player. Player!
Noob was not an Impostor.
PLAYER
Wait. She wasn't the impostor?
[Behind Player, Veteran stabs TheGentleman.]
VETERAN
Nope.
PLAYER
Dang. I'm really gonna miss having a girlfriend.